Rock’s Reunion Fever

 

2007 is shaping up to be quite a year for Rock and Roll reunions. 

Sting’s greatest musical outlet, The Police, have decided to regroup and open this year’s telecast of the Grammy Awards.  Police fans have spent recent months speculating whether the group would get together this summer and tour the UK and US  to mark the 30th Anniversary of the release of their song “Roxanne”.  We can only speculate over what kind of cash was laid down to bring these three men back together considering the bad blood that had stalled past reunions.  Frankly, I can hardly listen to Sting, I can’t imagine spending three months on the road with the man.  Let’s hope he leaves his lute at his mansion.

On the heels of the Van Halen’s upcoming induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, rumors are circulating that the group is planning to tour the US this year.  Original lead singer David Lee Roth is apparently on board after 22 years on his own, but the status of (bass guitar player) Michael Anthony is still up in the air.  Most people believe Anthony has been dropped in favor of Eddie Van Halen’s son, Wolfgang, because of a lingering feud between Eddie and the longtime bassist.  If these guys can make it through the Hall of Fame ceremony without a major meltdown, we may be ‘lucky’ enough to catch this train wreck this summer.

One rumor that seems to pop up every few years (most recently in The Sun) is the reunion of Led Zeppelin.  Original members, Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, and John Paul Jones would be joined by late-drummer John Bonham’s son, Jason.  I don’t want to rain on any parades, but there is almost no chance for this rumor to pan out.  At least Zeppelin fans get a week or two to hope for the best.  It is not unlike the hope generated by Pink Floyd’s appearance at Live 8 a couple years ago.  Many folks took great glee in tossing around the idea of a new tour until the whole thing put to rest by an official announcement a couple weeks later.  Maybe someone could call Robert Plant and get some real answers before I adjust my summer vacation plans. 

There are a few acts that have recently announced reunions that I could not care any less about.  Fluff dinosaurs Genesis, the Smashing Pumpkins (lead by Uncle Fester’s bastard son Billy Corgan,)  Cheesy Brit groups Crowded House and James, annoyingly political Rage Against The Machine, and geezer punks The Stooges are all planning summer tours or major concert appearances.  Even The Eagles are threatening to release a new album that will probably bore me to tears.  Could a major announcement from Seals and Crofts be far behind?

We can only pray David Lee Roth will have the sense to leave his spandex pants and ass-less chaps at home. 

24 Hours of Family Dysfunction

If you were in Jack Bauer’s shoes and trying to save the world from certain destruction, you would  think your biggest threat would come from the terrorists causing all of the trouble.  Right?

The more I watch Fox’s ‘24′, the more I come to realize the people causing the most harm in Mr. Bauer’s life are members of his immediate family.  How many times has the distraction of dealing with whatever mess his daughter has gotten in to kept him from catching the bad guy?  This year has introduced us to whole family of distraction: Jack’s follicly-challenged brother Graem, sister-in-law Marilyn and nephew Josh. 

Last week’s episode would lead us to believe that Jack and Marilyn may have had a ‘thing’ back in the day.  I bet if you checked little Josh’s birth certificate, his DOB would fall nine months after his mother and uncle ‘called it quits.’  If Josh doesn’t turn out to be Jack’s bastard son, I will eat Mike Love’s hat.

Tonight’s episode will introduce us to Jack’s proud papa, Philip Bauer (played by James Cromwell.)  Only time will tell  whether father and son will work together to save the world.  Judging by the way Graem Bauer plotted last  season against his own brother, I am not holding out much hope for any kind of great family reconciliation.

How long before Jack has to deal with Josh being pinned down by some sort of wild animal? 

Freak of the Week

My inaugural ’Freak of the Week’ award proudly goes to Senator Jim Webb of Virginia. 

The newly-elected Senator had the awesome responsibility of delivering the Democratic rebuttal to President Bush’s ‘State of the Union’ speech.

It was refreshing to see a duly elected official speak up against the ever-frustrating White House establishment.  What gave Mr. Webb’s speech its added weight was the fact he was in the Reagan administration.  Added to that is his son’s status as a Marine currently serving in Iraq.  Who is better qualified to ‘call out’ this President and his administration for its gross mishandling of the Iraq War?

What makes this story even better is a rumour I was told (one I choose to believe) that depicts Sen. Webb tearing up a speech Democratic leaders had originally prepared for him.  Keep in mind Mr. Webb has authored eight books, which may have played a bigger part in his decision than some ideological disagreement with his party. 

Regardless of the reasons why he may have destroyed the other speech, the image of Senator Webb doing so is very powerful.  It only reinforces the idea that a new day may be dawning in Washington, DC. 

Give ‘em hell, Jim! 

Wii Have A Problem…

I hope the folks over at Sacramento’s KDND radio are proud of what they have accomplished.  In an age where radio stations are struggling to stay afloat, it seems the poor judgement of a few individuals may have placed one of the final nails in broadcast radio’s coffin. 

Between the overwhelming competition brought on by iPods and satellite radio providers, good ole ‘over-the-air’ (or free) radio has been up against the ropes for quite some time.  Unfortunately, in the quest for prime Arbitron ratings, listener welfare took a back burner to the excitement and draw of stunt broadcasting. It’s a shame, I so loved radio in my youth.  Now I find myself asking,”Is old radio worth keeping afloat if it means someone may die just to justify its bloated advertising rates?”

To no ones surprise, the family of victim Jennifer Lee Strange has decided to sue the radio station that promoted the “Hold Your Wee for a Wii” contest.  I wish them the best in court but fully acknowledge that no amount of money can make up for their loss.  A high-profile case like this will only bring intense scrutiny to radio’s standards and practices, higher insurance premiums for broadcasters, and calls for overhauling the entire industry. 

It’s a shame that the monopolization of radio ownership (and the subsequent sanitization of radio’s content) that overtook broadcasting in the late 1990s happened without these same cries for legislative reform and oversight.  Those acts may very well have prevented this entire tragedy from occurring in the first place. 

While it’s too late save Jennifer Strange from her tragic fate, we may still have a chance to save radio from its impending (and graceless) demise. 

Maui Wowie

It appears MTVs new show “Maui Fever” is causing quite a stir on the Hawaiian island where it was filmed.  Although only one episode has aired to date, residents have begun to voice their opposition to the way the show depicts their community.  

I recently discovered this fine piece of MTV programming just this past Saturday morning, as I flipped through the channels in search of something decent to watch.  Having avoided MTV for nearly ten years,  I wasn’t quite up-to-speed with any of the network’s new shows.  To put things into perspective; “The Real World” was brand new the last time I cared to study MTVs prime-time line-up. (To date, there have been 18 seasons of “The Real World” since its debut in 1992.  A 19th season is  scheduled to air later this year.)

“Maui Fever” is certainly no “Real World.”  It is more akin to the daytime soaps I grew up watching than the typical reality show formula we have all become accustomed to over the past decade.  The viewer is presented with (what appears to be) real boys and girls facing the typical troubles and tribulations one experiences in young adulthood. (Aren’t you glad a film crew wasn’t present for your ten most embarrassing social blunders?) 

However, any credibility ”Maui Fever” would try to lay claim to is easily washed away by the obvious staging of events and the sheer absurdity of the show’s narrative structure.  Nothing (apart from the sand and ocean) seems real.  You know how scientists construct a maze and plunk a couple of mice in it to study?  “Maui Fever” is no different, except I find mice a heck of a lot more interesting (and believable) than the cast of this show. 

Can anyone honestly say you don’t know what will happen when a jealous girl tries to control her jealous (ex)boyfriend?  Does we NOT know how alcohol can impair a person’s judgement?  You put a handful of men and women in a carefully controlled social environment (meant to enhance any pre-existing hang-ups) and start the camera’s rolling.  I guess that is what passes for ’reality TV’ these days.

Please don’t mistake “Maui Fever” for a reality, think of it as a social obstacle course, carefully constructed,  filled with ‘willing’ participants,  and then filmed for your amusement. 

I was not amused.

(”Maui Fever” airs Wednesdays at 930pm on MTV) 

Ladies and Gentlemen…’Parz-dint Boosh’

Well, another year…another waste of precious network air-time. 

Thank you, Mr. President, for taking the time out of your busy schedule <cough> to address your flock.  How nice of you to kiss up to the Speaker of the House and the victorious Democrats in the House and Senate.  How does it feel to have millions of critical eyes focused on your furrowed brow?

Is it too much to hope for a quick end to the Iraq War? 

Let me remind all of my fellow Americans to take the time to appreciate our country and all of the men and women who stand in harm’s way.  Don’t forget to speak your mind, whether it is with your vote or at a local meeting’s open mic.  Let those in power know that you are out there and you want your opinion heard.  It’s never too late to turn this ship around.

Where to begin?

You fill the car up,  start the motor, and hit the road running. 

There are no maps for this journey, just opportunities to reflect along the way.  Let’s hope we spot things before they pass us by because it’s too damn hard to see them in the rear-view mirror.

And be sure to buckle up…I have a feeling this may be a bumpy ride.