Prince Frederick Von Anhalt: Freak of the Week
IN A WEEK CHOCK FULL OF WEIRDOS, ZSA ZSA’s HUBBY TAKES THE CAKE
I woke up Friday morning not knowing who I would choose to be this week’s recipient. There were too many juicy stories I could have picked from but none had that extra ‘something’ I look for in a honoree. Leave it to Zsa Zsa Gabor’s eighth husband to inspire me to make my difficult choice.
San Francisco’s cad-Mayor, Gavin Newsom, was an early contender based on his questionable personal and professional relationships. Either half of the Griffin and Ryan O’Neal ‘Battle for Attention’ would have been a decent choice, but I passed (someone should at least call Dr. Phil for those guys.) How about the entire US Senate for acting like a bunch of tools by avoiding the real issues they should be debating?
One person I immediately withdrew from contention was crazy-astronaut, Lisa Nowak. She may have taught the world about space diapers but being crazy automatically disqualifies you from the competition. We have to wait until we hear back from her ‘shrinks’ before she’s eligible. I can see Capt. Nowak hitting the road with (runaway bride) Jennifer Wilbanks to film a reality show. It might be better than Oprah and Gayle’s road-trip last summer.
…AND NOW ON TO OUR FREAK.
Just when you thought the Anna Nicole Smith drama was fresh out of new twists, in walks a ‘wing-nut’ claiming to be the father of her five-month old daughter. But this wasn’t some run of the mill weirdo, it was Zsa Zsa Gabor’s current husband, Prince Frederick Von Anhalt (pictured to the right with Ms. Smith.)
Apparently our ‘Prince’ found the time (in between changes of Ms. Gabor’s space diapers) to have a secret love affair with the recently departed Smith. Now he says he may her baby’s daddy. That brings the number of gentlemen claiming to be Dannielynn’s biological father to three. They way things are going, that number may double in the next week or so.
Until a DNA test says otherwise, I will take Prince Frederick on his word. This is the same man who (back in 2000) unsucessfully tried to sue the makers of Viagra, claiming the drug had rendered him impotent unless he used it. Who’s to say he didn’t re-up his prescription and have a rendezvous or two with Ms. Smith?
In 1980, Von Anhalt (whose real name is Hans Robert Lichtenberg) bought his title of ‘Prince’ from an elderly German princess of Anhalt, who made her living with these kinds of transactions under the guise of an adoption (he was 47-years old.) For the record, there have been no German titles of nobilty assigned since 1919. ‘Prinz von Anhalt’ is his chosen name and it carries no connection with the Anhalt dynasty. That didn’t stop chronic bride Zsa Zsa Gabor from marrying the man in 1986.
I am in awe of his courage at this difficult time. We should all take time to celebrate this brave man, who humbly stepped forward to claim paternity in one of the craziest celebrity news stories since the OJ Simpson trial. It is this kind of ‘ingenuity’ that keeps the true spirit of the Freak of the Week Award alive.
May others follow his shining example!
(UPDATE: March 5, 2007)
Prince Frederick Von Anhalt has filed a lawsuit against Fox News and Bill O’Reilly, following comments the talk show host made regarding his claim of paternity in the case of Dannielyn Smith.
According to program transcripts, during a Feb. 22 segment of The O’Reilly Factor, host Bill O’Reilly said, “Look, this guy’s a fraud. We know he’s a fraud. But let’s — what I want to talk about is — he’s done. His credibility is — is finished.”
Von Anhault is seeking at least $10 million in damages according to papers filed on Wednesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court. He claims he can no longer go out into public without being ridiculed.
“They say, ‘Look, here comes the fraud,'” he said. “I get lots of e-mails from people bad-mouthing me. It’s very embarrassing.”
Fox News has issued not commented on the lawsuit at this time.
What can I say? Prince Frederick continues to display his innate ability to squeeze as much publicity out of an event whenever possible. Apparently he needs the extra cash to pay for the up-keep of his ailing wife, Zsa Zsa (Depend don’t come cheap!)
Good luck, sweet Prince. Your fifteen minutes of fame won’t last much longer.