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American Idol Season Six: Round Eight

May 3, 2007

AMERICA GETS IT RIGHT AND SENDS CHRIS AND (PHINALLY!) PHIL PACKING

top6carpet.jpgVacation and indifference have kept my Idol commentaries off of these pages for almost a month.  To date, this season has been a bit of a bore for me, offering very few of what I would consider to be stand-out performances.  I would be lying if I claimed that I did not miss Sanjaya.  That kid brought the kind of excitement one only finds watching videos on a TV show about car wrecks.  Unfortunately, by the time he butchered Bonnie Raitt’s ‘Something To Talk About’, you could tell his heart just wasn’t in it anymore and America happily put him out of his misery.  For those in need of a Sanjaya fix, don’t forget that there’s always the live tour to look forward to…

Then there was ‘Idol Gives Back’ week, which I would prefer to call ‘Idol Makes Me Nauseous’ week.  Not only did they waste my time with pointless performances (Annie Lennox butchering Simon and Garfunkel? An Elvis and Celine Dion duet?) they failed to kick someone off the show.  I cheered like a drunk boob at a baseball game when I mistakenly thought Jordin was going home. Man was I pissed when that didn’t come true.  My only hope (at that time) was that her demise was simply going to be delayed a week.  Oh well… Read more…

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Happy Fourth Anniversary, King George!

May 1, 2007

HE SAID WHAT? 

I can can think of at least 3000 reasons why this picture is completely wrong. 

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back in the days of shock and awe
we came to liberate them all
history was the cruel judge of overconfidence
back in the days of shock and awe

back in the days of “mission accomplished”
our chief was landing on the deck
the sun was setting on a golden photo op
back in the days of “mission accomplished” Read more…

Sayonara, Rosie…

April 26, 2007

DAYTIME’S QUEEN OF CONTROVERSY DECIDES NOT TO RENEW HER CONTRACT

odonnell-rosie-view-cp-1819331.jpgWednesday was the big announcement I had been expecting to hear from Rosie O’Donnell.  It was becoming increasingly apparent to me that she was not going to be able to sustain the level of commitment to The View that ABC Television wanted from her.   They tried to paint her into a corner with a three-year contract that she ultimately could not accept.  Why would anybody want to guarantee three more years of intense scrutiny from media pinheads (mostly from the right) when they know that one more year would barely be sustainable?  

I must give credit where it is due. Rosie was able to breathe a lot of life into the (now stale) format that had initially distinguished The View from its competitors.  There had always been four or five women sitting around an ugly table, chirping away on issues,  but the conversation seemed a little too safe and predictable (especially towards the end of Meredith Vieira’s tenure.)  Rosie changed all of that with her presence and ever-changing moods.  She served as the ‘true voice’ (even in her most deluded moments) of the variety of people that watch daytime television.  Without her presence, even with some sort of pale substitute occupying her seat, the show is going to suffer. Read more…

Eddie Van Halen, Happy and Healthy?

April 25, 2007

ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME’S NEWEST INDUCTEE EMERGES FROM REHAB

What a difference rehab, a queer makeover, and some new teeth can do for a down and out guitar hero.  One of our favorite ‘Freaks of the Week’ seems to finally be getting his act together.  Judge for yourselves by watching these YouTube videos: Read more…

Artie Lange Death Watch

April 24, 2007

HOWARD STERN’S FUNNYMAN IS A TICKING TIME BOMB  artiefatty1.jpg

I happened to catch Artie Lange on a rerun of Conan O’Brien last night and could hardly believe my eyes.   To say he looked unhealthy would be an understatement.   Anyone who believes that cocaine makes a person slim only needs to see the shape Artie is in these days to know how completely untrue that belief is.  Looking at the picture I have added above brings to mind the late Chris Farley and John Belushi.  Frankly, Artie looks like he is about to burst.  Read more…

We’re Back!

April 23, 2007

After a two-week hiatus, the freak show is back in town. 

I didn’t miss anything important, did I?

Don Imus: Freak of the Week

April 8, 2007

HOW MANY TIMES CAN THIS GUY PISS OFF THE BLACK COMMUNITY?

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Let me set things up by going back to a transcript of what went down on last week’s Imus In The Morning show… Read more…